The Wide World of Dirt

#10: GCN Waluigi Stadium

Nintendo forced fans of DoubleDash into reluctant patience as the GameCube classic failed to make its mark on the Booster Course Pass through the first three waves.

That all changed when Waluigi Stadium made its grand return as the third track in the Boomerang Cup.

I’ll come right out and say it: I love this track so much. I loved it on the GameCube, I loved it when I went back to Wii, and I love it in MK8DX.

My one tiny nitpick on this track that brought it down has to be coming over the second major jump where there’s a big mud patch on the left. Why on Earth are we able to drive on the wall outside of anti-grav? Slightly breaks the track.

The new anti-gravity sections are neat additions to an already great circuit. As if Waluigi Stadium wasn’t hard to handle as is, Nintendo muddied up the track surface, nearly simulating ice physics.

As great as it would’ve been for this track to close out its wave (or just a Cup in general), Waluigi Stadium holds a special place near and dear to my steering wheel and the 10th spot on this list.

Grade: 36/40

#9: Wii Coconut Mall

I cannot stress enough that I didn’t have Mario Kart Wii, so this track isn’t this high based off of some insane Wii bias.

Coconut Mall appealed to me in Mario Kart 7 where it made its first retro appearance, and though it was “easier” than the original due to the arrows added to the escalators, I found a lot of joy in driving around the track in that form.

Fast forward a decade later, Nintendo puts it in the first wave of the Booster Course Pass as the closing track of the Golden Dash Cup. Wouldn’t you know it, Coconut Mall is practically unchanged from its MK7 revamp.

This course requires racers to memorize its many phases and pick up as much speed and trick boosts as possible before reaching tight turns that demand orange and purple sparks.

A split path to exit the mall allows racers to enjoy the majesty of the parking lot prior to sending them into the action with cars that (now) do donuts instead of remaining stationary like they did when Wave 1 released.

It’s almost as good as I remember it, but I do wish the final the section with the cars was restored to the Wii original. It was much more of a puzzle back then that was hard to crack, making the racing harder to handle and predict.

Grade: 37/40

#8: DS Waluigi Pinball

I finally got my hands on Mario Kart DS in the spring of 2008, and I played that game a ton on the field trips we had in fifth grade.

One of my favorite tracks from that game was one that we couldn’t play: Waluigi Pinball, a true test of patience and discipline.

A visual spectacle, this track oozes charm that it carries over from its original. Having to wrap your kart perfectly around the third turn to avoid hitting the pinball rolling beside you is pure perfection.

Avoiding the pinballs when you make it all the way to the table is no easy task as there are multiples of them littered all over the place, all looking to knock the coins out of your kart.

Some minor nitpicks include the lack of the sound effects that made it to Mario Kart Tour and Mario Kart 7 and the distinct lack of item shortcuts.

Grade: 37/40

#7: Wii Grumble Volcano

The highest ranking retro track from the base game, Grumble Volcano takes the cake for me when it comes to this game’s original offerings.

Such a novel idea: a track that erodes away as the race goes along, thus making it more difficult to stay on course.

When I first played MKWii with my friend in college, I would always take the route to the left coming to the finish because it was easier and more stable than the path to the right.

I can no longer say that’s the case now that I’m a bolder and stronger player. That’s not to say I haven’t fallen off the course through that portion my fair share of times because I have!

The soundtrack for this track plays very well into the course’s overall themes and adds to the terrifying scenes around you as racers rip around an active volcano. As soon as they pop out, they’re greeted by an even angrier active volcano. Oh no.

I’m a sucker for tracks with dynamic track layouts because I find a number of them present a steeper challenge to newer and veteran players, and Grumble Volcano’s track dynamics are second-to-none.

Grade: 37/40

#6: Wii Maple Treeway

Speaking of track dynamics, take your mind back to all those photos you’d see as kids when autumn/fall would roll around. People raking then jumping into a pile of freshly fallen leaves. Always looked cool.

I did it a few times, and after dropping straight through and cracking my back on the ground once or twice, I abandoned trying to live up to those photos.

Well, driving through Maple Treeway simulates that feeling of diving through piles of leaves like a squirrel without any of the pain that could come with diving into a pile of leaves in real life. Huge win-win.

This track just has vibes.

Some people miss the wire bridge at the end. While I didn’t grow up with that version of the course, I think it would’ve been a little cooler had they made taking the glider optional and revitalized the wire bridge for this version.

My lone gripe with the circuit is that, like Waluigi Pinball before it, it features very little in the way of item shortcuts that allow players behind to catch up.

Bad item balancing can kill a race here, which is why it lands just outside of the vaunted top-5.

Grade: 37/40

#5: Mount Wario

This is the best the base game has to offer.

Imagine, if you will, a track in the style and scale of 3DS Rainbow Road, but it takes place on a downhill ski slope that you take from the summit after dropping down from a plane. That’s Mount Wario.

I understand that some of you have grown tired of this circuit in the past few years, and I totally get it. We’ve been racing here for 11 years. Some of you have raced here thousands of times.

The shortcut at the end of the first section remains a great hidden nugget that requires no items to use and can be tricked off of, which is just really cool.

A trip through a watery cavern with stony structures to trick off of while gliding bleeds into a dam section where boost panels are sliding down the locks.

I’ve gotten up to 99,999 VR in this game and run close to 15,000 races online plus countless races I’ve done offline, and I still haven’t gotten that log-ridden section just right. That’s just part of the adventure for me.

A final downhill slalom section sends racers down to the finish line to immense fanfare, like you just took home the Olympic gold.

It’s a picture-perfect track, it races well, and it exudes charm.

Grade: 38/40

#4: Tour Yoshi’s Island

I know I just wrote a big check with what I just wrote about Mount Wario, saying it was a picture-perfect track and all that.

That just means that these next four tracks are picture-perfect tracks as well, starting with my personal favorite in the whole game: Yoshi’s Island.

When I saw that this track was coming in the Wave 4 trailer, I knew I needed to hit up Switch Online and play through Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island for the Super Nintendo.

I have been notoriously attached to Yoshi since I first played Mario Kart 64 on my neighbor’s tube TV all the way back in 2001, and this was the first time I went back since I played the Game Boy Advance remake of Yoshi’s Island on my DS.

Driving this track reminds me of the amazing journey that game takes you on while also adapting its watercolor style to the 3D environment.

Even though we go around this track three times (and it stays relatively the same), the race tells a story and takes you through pretty much every level type that exists in the Yoshi’s Island game. It’s a true masterpiece.

The cherry on top? The “?” cloud. A completely game-altering track element that requires a racer to absolutely nail a moving object while gliding. It’s perfect.

As much as I love this track, the cloud only allowing players to drive through it to spawn the bridge is lame when you hit it with eggs in the game. I should be able to fling a koopa shell, Bob-Omb, or banana peel at it to get it to open.

Oh! And, you get to jump through the ring at the end of the lap just like you’d do in the SNES game. It’s just a delight, but if you have no attachment to the game or Yoshi as a character, I could see how someone wouldn’t be as drawn to it.

Grade: 38/40

#3: Tour Ninja Hideaway

Ninja Hideaway remains the grandest surprise of the Booster Course Pass and completely validated its existence.

Catching up at this track is exceedingly difficult, but it is a lot of fun to race on even when you’re in 11th.

The possibilities here mostly endless. There are so many different ways to complete a single lap here.

All of the variations pull me in like a moth to a bug zapper. Finding speed here can be difficult, making a comeback profoundly rewarding.

Keeping up with opponents and monitoring their moves are key to proper item play here and maintaining your hopes of victory if you’re behind.

It may not be the most grandiose race track in appearance, but I don’t need it to be, and neither should you. The way this track races is utter ecstasy, even if I’m struggling to keep up with the competition or completely outrunning them.

Grade: 39/40

#2: Wii Rainbow Road

It’s a perfect track, what did you think I was going to say?

There has to be a #1, and there’s just one track that’s better. Let’s try not to focus on its placement and focus on what it does well, which is everything.

It retains the meteorite effect when you fall off the track, chef’s kiss. That’s fan service at its finest because that’s a whole new animation that has to be added into the game, something they were hit or miss with throughout the BCP.

Credit where it’s due, the track is just as gorgeous as I remember it in Mario Kart Wii, even if the track surface appears to be animated a bit differently from the original iteration.

Adding anti-gravity to this track allowed Nintendo to contort it even more than before and bringing a new chaotic element to close combat that could speed both players up or entice more aggressive players to knock vulnerable karts into the expansive cosmos below.

It changed very little from its Wii original, and that’s a good thing in this case. Nintendo has a penchant for messing with a good thing (looking at the glider ramp they added to Koopa Cape in Mario Kart 7.)

A perfect track, the pinnacle of Rainbow Road in this game, and the perfect track to end the 96-track journey you go on when you start racing through Grand Prix.

The fact that nothing of note changed might be why it lost out to…

Grade: 40/40

#1: SNES Bowser Castle 3

I’m only 28, so this was the premier Bowser’s Castle when I was born.

Years and years went by where Nintendo neglected the potential of the SNES Bowser Castles, instead opting for the more recent and modern-ready GBA Bowser Castles from Super Circuit.

With the knowledge that the Spiny Shell Cup demanded its challengers to prove their mastery of the game, the developers knew they needed to precede one of the greatest tracks in the series with an equally-strong Bowser’s Castle.

They more than met the moment with SNES Bowser Castle 3. In my honest opinion, they managed to overshadow Wii Rainbow Road, even just a little bit.

I tried my best to be fair throughout this list, but at a certain point, comparison is necessary. When stacking up Wii Rainbow Road against this mammoth of a facility, it’s impossible to not see their originals in different ways.

Wii Rainbow Road’s remake in MK8DX does nothing to mess with its formula because it didn’t need any major adjustments.

Conversely, the pillars you can drive on today used to be walls. These pillars are extremely narrow, forcing racers to be perfect if they want to get extra items and hit all the boost pads.

Because this track presents so much of a challenge, it makes Mario Kart 8 Deluxe feel somewhat similar to an actual Super Mario game where one of the final big challenges is the most challenging platforming level on Bowser’s property.

Also, it’s the only Bowser’s Castle in the game with Thwomps, which is super important to the lore of these tracks that the MK8 nitro neglected to add.

Finally, the soundtrack. It’s pure evil, just devious guitar licks for this upgraded SNES course. If this is how Nintendo intends to revamp SNES and GBA tracks in the next game, I am thrilled for whatever might be next.

Grade: 40/40