The Wide World of Dirt

After my initial fruit review on the apple, I took time to reflect and think about which fruit would be a proper follow-up to the one that (allegedly) keeps the doctor away.

My mind eventually settled on the banana.

Another fruit that is extremely well-known, the banana is (again, I say allegedly) a great source of potassium, so I decided to look into what the banana has to offer.

Somehow, some way, the banana is classified as a berry. Don’t ask me what the justification is because I don’t know and don’t want to know.

The banana contains many vitamins and minerals, specifically being high in Vitamin C and fiber. The banana also holds several antioxidants, and I don’t have to tell you how good antioxidants are!

The banana has a peculiar shape. While it has a similar volume to an apple, bananas happen to be long and skinny in comparison.

Like many fruits, the banana has a peel to protect the fruit inside from rotting earlier as well as being exposed to the elements during development.

It is safe to eat the peel if that’s what your heart desires (remember to wash it off though) as it is a great source of nutrients, but if you’ve ever been froggy enough to try it, you’ll know it tastes rather bitter, no matter how ripe the banana is.

Personally, I think the peel is more useful for spinning opponents out in Mario Kart, but to each their own!

While some have managed the art of peeling the banana from the bottom, I have not been so fortunate for some unknown reason. Just never got the hang of it.

If you open a banana peel the traditional way, you pull the nob that was attached with the bundle all the way down to the bottom, and you should have some nasty strings from the peel you have to pick off and throw away along with the peel.

The texture of the banana is odd.

The peel is smooth and thick, but the fruit within is soft and almost filmy, leaving some sort of weird residue whenever you touch it with your hands directly.

It’s much better to just keep the peel on and move it down the banana as you eat more and more portions of it, much like tinfoil on a fresh burrito.

When you bite into a ripe banana, it is one of the better easily accessible fruits. It features a terrific blend of sweetness that lines up well with the funky texture.

Due to its shape, I’ve found that it takes longer to finish a banana, and I don’t have a definitive reason as to why. I feel like you can’t just take a few chomps out of it and make it disappear like an apple.

Eating a banana can feel more like work in that way in comparison to some other popular handfruits, so that’s a bit of a drawback.

Another drawback of the banana is that it has a horrible shelf life.

Bananas cannot be included in a pre-packaged fruit cocktail or fruit salad because they spoil rather quickly once exposed to the elements.

In addition to that, bananas don’t keep exceptionally well.

I bought a bundle at the store last week, and I eat bananas rather casually. I bought them green, so they would ripen to perfection within the week.

The bundle included five bananas. I ate three of them: one pre-ripe, one ripe, one slightly post-ripe. One other was eaten by my lady, and the other perished due to rot.

With the advice from The Internet, I’ve been told for years that bananas are sweetest when eaten at the point where the peel has a few brown spots on them like so:

My personal research backs that claim up, but there’s a fine line between the perfectly sweet and ripened banana and a bad one.

A thin brown line.

Bananas with a small collection of brown spots are perfect, but as soon as you see a large patch of brown or a strip of brown on the banana, you may as well chuck it!

It’s bad.

I had a drink a while back that was a mix of 140 proof Everclear and banana liqueur, and the brown strip banana tasted just like that awful drink.

Fermented and gross.

A pre-ripened banana with a tint of green on the peel is actually just fine. It’s a bit of a harder one to bite into, and it’s got more of a sour taste than a ripened banana.

Having said that, I don’t mind it and will consider eating more not ripened ones in the future to avoid the Brown Strip of Doom.

Overall, bananas are a good fruit, but its short shelf-life takes away from its great taste when ripe, holding it back from becoming a great fruit.

Ranking: B+