The Wide World of Dirt

The TuAnon Froggs celebrated a week four victory over the Sports Medicine Clinic by soaking in a bye week, leaving the team at a solid 3-1 prior to their week 6 duel with none other than the Plague Mob.

After suffering a season-opening loss to Pain, Plague Mob took a bye in week 2 prior to thumping Support the Shield in week 3, 234.4 to 175.5.

A close contest with Jeys Team in week 4 resulted in another triumph, but underwhelming performances from DK Metcalf and Pat Freiermuth against the Washington 4skins last week cemented a 2-2 record after five weeks.

That’s not all. The Plague Mob disposed of the horrid Cowboys defense as well as running backs Trey Sermon and Cam Akers in favor of adding Falcons QB Kirko Bangs going into week 6.

Sliding over to the ever-sliding Oops, all Injuries! The squad opened up the year with injuries to its two best signal callers, hindering any efforts at improving the team’s record.

In Oops, all Injuries! closest matchup to-date, Kyle Pitts failed to put up a point in week 4 while Rashee Rice’s collision with Patrick Mahomes put him out of the game and possibly out for the season with a knee injury.

Sadly, the team is living up to its name, and with an 0-5 record, it will be difficult to snap into contention. Oops will duke it out with the Washington 4skins this week.

The 4skins put the hurting on Plague Mob last week on the backs Kyler Murray’s and Ja’Marr Chase’s stupendous performances to the tune of 223.25 total points.

Washington’s consistency has been lacking to this point, though it seems like key players might finally be hitting their strides at this point in the season. We’ll see what the 2-2 outfit has planned against the fierce Oops, all Injuries! collective.

Jeys Team opens up week 6 with a game against Pain, something the team has grown familiar with these past two weeks. Stinging defeats at the hands of the Plague Mob and the Glizzy Glazers sunk the once 2-1 team to a 2-3 record.

This squad faces one of the most treacherous schedules in the league, not serving a bye week all the way until week 13. This means Jeys Team will have a skewed winning percentage until then, something they hope to use to their advantage.

Next up is Sports Medicine Clinic vs Support the Shield. Sports Medicine Clinic bounced back in 2024 in a big way winning two weeks in a row by less than 11 points in weeks 2 and 3.

A week 4 loss at the hands of the frogs prompted a spirited effort against Oops, all Injuries! where the Clinic’s Drake London and Garrett Wilson led the way with 43.4 and 37.1 points respectively en route to a 217.35 – 157.6 victory.

Support the Shield’s season can be described as unlucky. Averaging the most points per week of any team by a wide margin, the Shield sits at 2-2 after losing to Pain last week by just 1.65 points.

In essence, one more Dalton Kincaid catch would’ve made the difference.

The Shield waltzes into week 6 looking to tackle the Clinic and raise his record to top the Western Conference.

Finally, the Glizzy Glazers stroll into a bye on a three-game win streak against TuAnon Froggs, Oops, all Injuries!, and Jeys Team. Their next matchup comes against Plague Mob in week 7.