The Wide World of Dirt

A few weeks ago, I visited Kansas City to attend the NASCAR Cup Series race at the wonderful Kansas Speedway.

Rounding turn 4 after 267 laps and 400 miles was none other than eighth-generation watermelon farmer Ross Chastain, scoring his fifth career victory.

When Chastain takes the checkered flag first, all watermelons within a certain vicinity are in immediate danger as the humble farmer goes mental on his harvest, standing atop his car and smashing the melon on the ground.

Some might not take kindly to this desecration of fruit, but I love it. Besides, he picks it up and eats chunks off the race track, so it’s not like the stuff is going to waste!

But, enough about race cars. We’re here to talk about the delicious watermelon.

With more than 1,000 different variants across the globe, this gargantuan berry (yes, it is in fact a berry!) can grow in the tropical climate of Egypt to the temperate air of China where over 2/3 of the world’s supply of watermelons were harvested.

The earliest traces of what are now known as watermelons extend to the rich and beautiful continent of Africa, specifically the country of Libya.

While it was originally thought that the modern watermelon traced back to a native Libyan melon called Namib Tsamma, but it’s actually linked closer to the Sudanese species, Fursa.

Researchers found watermelon seeds in the Libyan desert that are up to 6,000 years old with the fruit becoming domesticated in northern Africa around 4,000 years ago.

However, these watermelons may not be the ones you’re familiar with as those didn’t come about until a millennia-and-a-half later across the Mediterranean in Rome.

Watermelons today come in a plethora of colors as well, ranging from the familiar red and pink to orange, yellow, green, and white. Oftentimes, a watermelon is grown with seeds inside, but through innovation, seedless variants exist.

Most folks have grown accustomed to eating the pink/red flesh of the fruit raw, but some choose to pickle the fruit or macerating it in some moonshine.

But, what do you do with the rind?

Well, I’m glad you asked because some folks prefer to prepare and cook the rind to eat later, which I haven’t tried personally though I’m not opposed to the idea. If you have a recipe, send it my way, and I’ll see what I can do!

Watermelon and Black stereotypes

In the midst of the Civil War, free Black farmers began harvesting watermelons, leading to the watermelon itself becoming a symbol for slavery abolition.

After a certain group of ungracious losers took a brutal defeat, those same losers started spreading a harmful stereotype that Black people liked watermelon too much.

Essentially, salty white people started heaping harmful (and categorically untrue) attributes about Black people onto the watermelon, going so far as to say the fruit represented being unclean and lazy.

First of all, you might get some juice on you if you’re eating a juicy, watery fruit. News flash: Most fruits are juicy and watery. This applies to practically any fruit.

Second of all, have you cut open a watermelon before? It’s tiresome! Takes a lot of work, determination, elbow grease!

My point is, stereotyping Black people is racist and stupid. Stereotyping a fruit, a humble berry even, as a thinly-veiled layer to your racism is just even dumber.

If you hear some moron bothering a Black person for eating this fruit, do your part and put a stop to it. It’s a damn fruit that everyone should be comfortable enough to enjoy publicly or in private.

My Take: Watermelons? Pretty Good!

Unfortunately, this time of year doesn’t breed many watermelons, certainly not as many fresh and delicious ones as even a month ago might yield.

Regardless, I grabbed a tray of watermelon slices at the store my last time out, and I cracked open those bad boys this evening.

The pink flesh was magnificent, full of water but firm. I love a melon that doesn’t fall apart as soon as you bite into it. I prefer a substantial slice.

I cleared about five of the eight slices on my own, and I must say, it’s one of the best in the whole damn game.

That might be controversial. I don’t care because I’m bold enough to say it: watermelons are very, very good fruit.

If it’s a hot summer day, I would put my loves for grapes aside if a platter of watermelon slices presented itself. Watermelon is the absolute perfect summer fruit without question. Even in autumn, I still enjoy it quite a bit.

I highly recommend grabbing an Arizona watermelon fruit cocktail at your nearest gas station or convenience store or even a jar of Junior Johnson’s Midnight Moon watermelon moonshine. Both are exquisite and worthy of your tastebuds and time.

Final Grade: A

(Top Photo Credit: Amy Kontras/Imagn Images)